Monday, August 30, 2010

Wistful Thinking

So I spent the last few days in South Bend, visiting school friends and professors and walking around Saint Mary's, Notre Dame and Holy Cross. I'm not sure how healthy this was, because it really just made me miss school and Indiana and the people I left here--or at least the people I associate with the places.

My very first day, I met up with my friend Tara, who is a senior and I went to her Jane Austen class with my favorite literature professor. As I sat in that classroom next to Tara, it was as if nothing had changed. Granted, there were a few faces I didn't recognize and my hands were itching to take notes or WRITE something... But everything including the view outside the windows, the face and voice at the front of the classroom, the face and the handwriting next to me was familiar and comforting. It's been strange wandering the campuses, the residence halls, student centers and library, dropping friends off at Holy Cross or Saint Mary's after late night festivities.

I'm kind of pitiful really. I've never embraced change. In high school, most of my friends were ready to leave and move on to the next chapter of their lives. But not me; they practically had to drag me out of there. It's been a similar story with leaving Saint Mary's and adjusting to all the change and newness that come with such a transition. I've pursued a couple job opportunities in South Bend and now I'm here visiting. I hope to come up for a football game at some point in the fall. Anything to stave off the finality of leaving, I suppose...

What strikes me now, as I sit at a computer in the Saint Mary's library, musing over my all too brief weekend, is that in the few short months since I've been gone nothing and no one has really changed here except me.

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